Specs

She is adjusting quite nicely to her specs. She does take them off about 5 to 10 times a day right now, but that's pretty normal. I think she looks beautiful in them!

Family

I love our family. I especially love it when they come to visit us. It makes our house a busier, more energetic, happier place. Today we will be having many visitors coming to the house. Adam's parents are driving down with our neice (Bailey, 9) and nephew (Hunter, 10). Also, our neice (Daphne, 9) will be flying in this afternoon to stay with us for a while.

I am excited for our house to be overrun with kids. Bree is going to be sleeping in our room in a pack and play because she was ever so nice to offer up her room to the big kids. Okay, so I really decided they would be using her room, but she is still sharing. We have broken down her crib (whew those get dirty quickly!) and are going to move it out tonight and move in the futon. The girls will be sharing the futon and we are going to get Hunter a twin blow up bed to sleep on.

We were going to put our girls together in the same room, but they have such different sleeping schedules we decided against it. However, the past two days Bree has spent in our room she has made a point to be waking up at 530. So, they may be sharing a room here soon if that continues.

We have a few adventures planned while they are here. Mama wants to visit a ghost town, a western town, some local splash pads, the zoo, and possibly a water park. I look forward to the time that will be spent with family. It is nice to share our time, our love, and our happiness with them!

Every time I turn around...

...Bree is walking.

She is now choosing (about 50% of the time) to walk instead of crawl. It is so odd and wonderful to see her in an upright walking position. She is such a big girl now. It is hard to imagine that she was the floppy little 5 pound 2 ounce baby we brought home 18 months ago. What a difference.

The rest of the week...and some of this week.

Last week was full of many surprises. Most of which  caught us off guard (that's the funny thing about surprises!). Thursday we found out I have to go to a gum specialist to have a surgical procedure done. Our insurance does not have good dental coverage at all.

We spent Saturday at my Aunt and Uncle's house out in Queen Creek and it was a welcome change from the stressful week that we had. Lounging in the pool helped to relax my cares away. Both girls LOVED the pool. Bree does not like being in a baby floater toy, she prefers someone holding her. Riley kicked herself all around the pool in her floater, splashing water on Daddy and laughing up a storm.

On Monday I took Bree to the eye doctor and found out she needs glasses. Our insurance doesn't cover them so we will be paying for them. Thankfully, Adam's parents are going to help us out with them in light of our money situation. We are looking at getting her these frames: click here to see her frames!. We are going to get them in the light rose color. The cool thing about these frames is that they are virtually indestructible. Bree does enjoy sporting her sunglasses every so often so I am hopeful that glasses will not be too hard of a transition.

Please be praying for our family this week. We have had a rough go of it lately and we are determined to keep our heads up. Thanks in advance.

The ugly

Usually I try and keep the blog upbeat and happy, but unfortunately life isn't always that way. The past two days have been horrible.

To start, Riley has ran a fever the last three days. She hovers around 101 in the evenings. Just the evenings. Weird. Bree started with a fever tonight too.

Yesterday we got a letter from Social Security saying the benefits that we have been getting for Bree are being changed. Instead of the $674 we were getting a month they are saying we only get $55.64. We rely upon that money to help pay for her expenses and to cover bills.

This morning I called to ask about why that change had occurred since our money situation had not changed. Come to find out we never should have qualified in the first place and they expect us to pay back all the money they had overpaid us. All $7, 420.32.

Talk about stressful. We are going to be appealing the repayment since it was their mistake that we received the money in the first place. I am sure this is a process that is going to take a long while.

To offset the money that we are no longer receiving we filed for food stamps today, and are going to re qualify for WIC tomorrow morning.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

Bedtime bliss

I still rock Bree for a few minutes right before I lay her down in her crib. Those few minutes of snuggles mean the world to me. I feel as though I am bursting with love when I look into her eyes. I could hold her for a lifetime and still feel the same way. The way she sweetly looks into my eyes and smiles, her beautiful eyes gazing right back into mine, and how she fits into my arms so perfectly. Every night I wish I could stop time, even if just for a few more moments of bedtime bliss.

Wrapping it all up...

Sea World!

Riley loved her little orca whale toy. She called him "Chomp Chomp".

Rides

We went to Belmont Park on recommendation from a good friend and we had a blast! We learned that Riley is not ready for the tilt-a-whirl, but she loved everything else!

Beach time

We went to San Diego this past weekend. It was crazy, last minute and jam packed, but worth every minute. When we first arrived we promptly found a beach and parked ourselves there for a few hours.

Both girls got to see the ocean for the first time...and touch it for the first time...

Lots of sand castles were built, and destroyed. Then built again. They both loved the sand. (which is a huge texture thing for Bree...I was so proud of her!)

Shades.

So, why the shades you ask?? Stay tuned to find out....

"Shoo!! GO AWAY!"

Those are the words my precious, darling, sweet, first born daughter told me tonight. She was protesting going to bed, and I told her that was enough. She rebuked with "Shoo! GO AWAY!! NO WANT YOU! SHOO! SHOO!".

Ah, the joy of a two year old. Just oozing with kindness and appreciation.

P.S. I will admit it made me giggle a little bit to be "shoo"-ed.

Discipline

"Spare the rod, and spoil the child". I have heard this many times in my lifetime, and I do truly believe in it. Yes, you heard me right. We spank. However, I also believe that some children need to be spanked, while others are fine with just a harsher tone of voice and a disapproving look. We are so very lucky in our house to have one of each of those children.

Riley is the spanker. Harsher voices do nothing for her. She giggles at the disapproving look. Timeouts are a joke to her (but we still do them). She sings in timeout, as if it were karoake time. So for her, we do three strikes and you're out. She gets two timeouts for the same offense and the third time she gets a spanking and has to go to her room. There are days when I think it is working, but then there are days (like today) that make me question my parenting.

Riley uses reverse psychology on us. I swear. Her new thing is when we spank her, she thanks us. It never fails, spank Riley and "Thank you Mommy" or "Thank you Daddy" comes out of her little mouth. It has us baffled. We're not sure how to react. We just tell her "You're welcome, but you must now stay in your room as punishment." She either says "Okay!" or starts crying. She is a mystery.

Bree is our harsh voice/nasty look child. Works everytime. I love it. I wish Riley were more like her.

Please...

Bree signed please today to her therapist! Woo hoo!

You gotta celebrate the small things in life. :)

A breakthrough

I hope I am not jinxing ourselves but I think we are on the edge of a breakthrough with Bree. She is starting to communicate more. I have been praying and hoping that she would start to express more with us, and lately in the past three days she's made improvements.

She shakes her head "no" to express herself appropriately. We are working on "yes" and she can do it when prompted, but not yet as an expression.

She does the signs for "all done", "more" and "milk" as she wants or needs to use them. We are working on "please" and "thank you".

She has started to sign along with "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Twinkle twinkle little star". She can only do one movement, but she is expressing interest in doing the moves with us.

I hope that this trend continues and I have more to report back to you later in the week!

Happy weekend...

This is one of those relax at home weekends. Sometimes those are the best.

Riley has taken a liking to baby dolls, and has even named her ladybug cabbage patch doll "Lily Lee". I am sure the baby's name will change again, but I am impressed with her choice of name. It is an actual name, and not something silly. She carries her babies around, shooshing them and telling them "It's okay.". She puts them in timeout, pushes them in their strollers, and disappears for a while into her room every so often only for me to find her tucking her baby into bed when I check on her.

Bree has been getting around so quickly lately. She is a crawling pro! She crawls to Riley's room, to her room, the play kitchen, the real kitchen and anywhere else she can get to. Her and Riley are starting to play more together which is sweet to hear when they are getting along. Right now at this moment Riley is telling to Bree to "Shoo shoo get out" of where she is playing at and Bree is whining about it. Bree continues to improve with her length of time she can stand unassisted, and we are working on her walking. She will really only take one step before collapsing down on her knees to start crawling. She is not quite comfortable with the walking. Her physical therapist says her core muscles are not strong enough to allow her to feel stable so she can walk with confidence. We do daily exercises on the exercise ball to help strengthen the muscles for her.

I am almost done with all my observations at school. Next week is the last week of school and I will only be going in on Tuesday. (Thursday Bree has an evaluation to see where she is at with her development). I am excited to complete this portion of my schooling because it brings me one step closer to my student teaching in August, which is one step closer to graduation and completion of college. I am in one class right now, and when that class is complete I only have one left. Woo hoo!

Adam is working hard on working out and getting into shape for his physical test he has on June 3rd. Since I am almost done with school he (and myself) are looking forward to him switching to day shift so that he can be home to help me out with the girls at night. It will be great to have someone home at night to talk to, eat dinner with, and go to bed with. It's lonely going to bed by myself every night.

That's us in a nut shell right now. Life is good, and we plan on enjoying the rest of our weekend...together.

Hello, my name is Tasha and I have anxiety.

I see a psychiatrist. I take anxiety medication. I am proud of myself for seeking help.

I do not understand why our nation has made it something shameful to take medication for a mental problem one has. Would we be ashamed of taking high blood pressure  medication or insulin for diabetes? I don't think so. Mental or physical, many of the problems that we have are unavoidable or not caused by a specific action or reason.

I am proud that I recognized that I was having a difficult time with specific things and I sought help. It did take me a year and a half to realize it's not something I can control on my own, but I realized it. I made sure I got help. My life, my children's and my husband's lives are all better now that I have better control of myself and my emotions.

Why should we be ashamed if we need help? I think it is just silly to not reach out for help. To suffer in silence for fear of feeling embarrased? I think it is something to be proud of to take that step in helping yourself. Sometimes you just have to put yourself first no matter what others may say or think of you. If it can make you a better person, or help you in some way, I say go for it. Get the help you need. It may be the best thing you can do for yourself.

I know it was for me.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms who wipe snotty noses, clean dirty diapers, watch cartoons with their kids, give hugs and kisses daily, and who love their children unconditionally.

A special Mother's Day salute to all the single Dads who get to be moms and dads to their kids.

A super special Mother's Day wish to all the mothers who do not get to be with their families on this special day due to serving in the military overseas.  You are more important than you know. Thank you for serving.

P.T.H.

Potty training H.E. double hockey sticks. That's what we've been in. We are going to give it one more full day of trying and if it continues the way it is going we are going to go back to diapers.

She wets and won't tell us. She fights us to sit on the potty. We have resorted to giving her an M&M every time she even sits on the potty. It's the only thing that works. We've had no pee or poop in the potty yet. It's been two days.

How do people do this? I think she is not ready. Her preschool tells me that she does all the motions (sitting on the potty and showing interest). Her at home is a different story. So we give the good old fashioned all in try for one more day. One. more. day.

Guess who?

Guess who is starting potty training tomorrow??

(Disclaimer: This was a "practice" time so Riley does have panties on. No nudity will be seen on this blog.)

Caved

I caved. I couldn't do it. Bree doesn't understand that when she feels hungry she needs to eat. All she does is cry in a certain way that I am sure I can feel my heart breaking into little pieces. We did sweat it out today right up until bedtime. She only had 3 ounces of milk today, and a few bites of a ritz cracker. This afternoon all she wanted to do was to be held, and she wanted to cry. I couldn't do it.

So before bed, she got a energy drink calorie induced tube fed meal. Two ounces of milk is approximately 40 calories, 1 tbsp of peanut butter =  90 calories, 1 tbsp of honey = 65 calories, 1 scoop doucal = 40 calories, 1 tsp of olive oil = 40 calories all equals out to about 3.5 ounces of  "food" that is 275 calories. Which makes one happy Bree, and one happy Mama.

Day 1 total

Bree's first day total of food:

She did get her morning tube feed before we went to the doctor, which was 8 ounces and 415 calories.

She also ate/drank:

5.5 ounces of whole milk which is approximately 100 calories.

2 chocolate M&M's

I am hoping tomorrow will be a more promising day since it will be her first full day without any tube feeds.

Opportunity to shine!

Today we had a pediatrician appt to talk about appetite stimulant for Bree. Our pediatrician does not reccomend it. I was counting on her backing me for the support of it, but that's okay.

She gave us the go ahead to start trying to wean Bree off of her g tube. Right now Bree eats 3 ritz crackers a day, and drinks about an ounce of whole milk. I think a lot of her lack on wanting to eat is because she is not hungry. How could she be when her breakfast tube fed meal is about 400 calories, and her lunch and dinner tube feeds are 300 each along with a night drip that is 180 calories. That is 1180 calories a day, which is what she needs to be getting. So, if you are getting all the calories you need, you would be full, right? So why would you need to eat by mouth? You have no reason to.

So, Bree will be not receiving any tube feeds during the day for the next 4 days. That is our trial period to see if she is ready to start eating by mouth. She will still be getting her night feed in order to assure she is staying hydrated. I am very hesitant and nervous about this, but I know it's the right thing to do. She's never going to get off of her tube unless we give her the opportunity to show us.

Please be praying for her, and for us as we embark on this adventure together.  I will be sure to keep everyone updated.

Las Vegas Trip

Putting the fun back into it...

I am not sure where I fell off track, but I am sure glad that I recognized it. I used to pride myself on being the "fun" babysitter. I had the crafts, the games and I was not beneath crawling around and growling like a monster to find 'hiding' kids. I loved it, and so did the kids I babysat.

Somewhere between babysitting at 17 and having a two year old and one year old of my own...I lost the fun. I am not sure where it has gone. I think it is lost in piles of laundry, hours of lost sleep, and a massive pile of toys, most of which are broken or missing pieces.

I am vowing to start putting the fun back into my parenting. I am too busy multi tasking, doing schoolwork, or picking up behind the kids. Tomorrow I am going to set my timer in fifteen minute increments and STOP AND PLAY. 

I will get on my knees and crawl around like a monster. I will turn the music up and dance like a maniac. I will give my children my all. All of the fun. All of the laughter. All of me.

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Disclaimer: This could gross you out.

So this morning Adam and I were both kind of doing our own things in the house. During this particular event he was doing dishes, I was finishing up my tea on the couch, and both girls were playing by going in and out of the house since the back door was open. Riley happened to make her way into the kitchen. She was standing there talking and kept saying "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to Adam. Being the good Daddy that he was, he was half listening and responding (I do it all the time!) and asked her if she wanted to sing that song.

When he turned around Riley had a cockroach in her hand!!!!! She thought it was THE Itsy Bitsy Spider and was showing it to Daddy! Adam freaked out and Riley dropped it, leaving Adam to stomp on it. Riley must have found it outside and brought it in to show off her find.

Needless to say, we ended up having a good laugh over it...after we got over our heebie jeebies from the cockroach.

Who's the man?

I am the man.

Today I did something my husband has never, and does not know how to do.

I waxed my car.

I know how to do this thanks to my parents. I learned due to the many times I got into trouble...but I was usually waxing a motorhome, and not a car. (Note to self: Make kids do the unpleasant chores as punishment...that way I don't have to do them.) Thank goodness I was such a troublemaker or I would not know how to do many of the things I know how to do.

Doing this today made me curious, how do things work in your family? Does the wife do just the wifely duties, and the man do the manly stuff?

I actually enjoy doing some "manly" chores, it makes me feel empowered and satisfied with myself. Maybe it's a little odd, but it works for us. Adam also doesn't mind doing the "womanly" chores from time to time. He's awesome like that.

How does it work for you?