Playdates

Pros:
1. Riley gets to play
2. Bree gets to play
3. Mommy gets some adult interaction
4. Riley goes to bed early
5. Bree goes to bed early

Cons:
1. Mommy wants to go to bed early.

Take two

Today we started on take two of the fish tank. Our previous attempt resulted in one of the fish (the upside down catfish) dying and apparently being sucked into the filter and getting stuck. We thought we had gotten him out, but we must have missed some because about a week later all the other fish started to die. Seventy dollars of fish down the drain...literally. (we flushed em)

So, this time around we went with the cheap fish at Petsmart.We've got about 6 zebra danio fish (they look like striped tetras), 5 beautiful male guppies with orange tails, 3 Australian rainbow fish, and one albino sucker fish thing. (Don't you love how I am so technical with the other fish, then can't remember that one?)

Just to spoil ourselves we got some new decorations for the fish tank. It has been about 3 years since we got new decorations so a change of scenery was in order. Adam approved my picking out of an old WWII plane that looks like it crashed and sunk. I picked out the super cool bridge/river piece that makes it look as though there is a river running under the bridge by having the bubbles hook up to it, run under some plexiglass and then up and out of some plants on the side. Last but not least, Riley picked out a T rex tank decoration. She has been obsessed with dinosaurs as of lately. But that's for another post.

We are excited about the new fish in the tank...it has been vacant for over a month, and it was looking pretty lonely over there. Now it's full of movement, bubbles and life.

Isn't life great?

New things, new life, new priorities

Not having the requirement to blog every night has been a great stress relief for me. My kids are great, but there is not always daily stories to be told or information to tell. Sometimes I was feeling like I grasping at straws when it came to writing a blog every day.

Now, I need to get into  a new rythym of blogging when there is something to tell. I need to take the time to write it out so the story is fresh and new in my mind and you, my readers, will be able to read every detail and/or funny expression from whomever the story is about.

So, what's going on with us you ask? Well, we've been spending more time with our friends Felix and Anneke and their two kids lately. It's great for me to feel like I have a best friend again. Someone I can tell everything to and not feel judged. Anneke and I are very similar in the way we think, (are both overly paranoid), and it is nice to have a fellow NICU mom who understands the therapies, appointments and worries of our kiddos. I am so appreciative to have her as a friend.

Riley is still becoming smarter and smarter day by day. She is very specific in her speech, and in her demands. She is getting a little attitude and we are trying our best to stop it in it's tracks. Some days I feel like we are doing a great job, then there are days that Riley has 9 to 10 time outs in a day.

Bree is a crawling crazy kiddo! She has pulled herself up on the coffee table once, but has not since then. She is capable, she just chooses not to in typical Bree fashion.

I am doing okay, I have good days, and I have bad days. I recently got a number of a psychiatrist that accepts Tricare and who is reccomended by a friend. (I need to re-get (is that a word?) that number from her since I deleted my text messages without thinking about it today) I hope to be able to make an appt soon so that I can get help.

Adam is doing well and has been helping me out very much with the girls so that I can do my teacher observations that I need.

Life is good. Hectic but good.

Downsizing

I am trying to downsize my list of things I have to do. This is to help with the stress and anxiety issues I am having. I will be posting when I feel the need to, or have something to share. I know you all will understand. Don't worry, I won't leave you in the dark! I will post at least once or twice a week. I love you all. :)

Personal

I have a few personal issues going on. Some are physical, some are mental (yeah, yeah...crack the jokes) but I am being serious. Since Bree was born I have struggled with postpartum depression issues. I thought that I was over it and done, but I guess not.

About a month ago I discovered a lump in my right breast. I monitored it for a week or so, then called the doctor and scheduled a visit to the gynecologist. (I needed to have my 'well woman' checkup anyways) The doctor that I had was not very open to hearing about the issues that I had, and didn't even take the time to check out the said lump. She told me that with the location and my age it was "probably nothing". I wasn't happy with that answer.

So I made an appt with my primary care physician on base (which was today), and upon asking me many questions, doing a very thorough exam, and sending me to get blood drawn decided that my hormone levels are still off from when I had Bree. The 'lump' I felt is an enlarged duct which is caused from the hormone imbalance. The anxiety issues I have been having are also related to the hormone imbalance.

So, I am still struggling with a form of postpartum depression that is manifesting itself in anxiety. I do need to go see a psychiatrist as it does affect my daily life and interaction with my kids and husband. I just want to be myself again. I need to be myself again. I can't wait to be myself again.

Two year olds

...are wonderful, joyous, inspiring, silly, crazy, energetic, exhausting, playful, tiring, jumping, singing, dancing, running, hopping bundles of fun. They are like a little bi polar person wrapped up in this tiny little body. One minute they are dancing and yelling happily, next minute they are pushing their sister over and trying to stomp on her hand. Oh the joys of two year olds!

Riley is getting in her two bottom back molars so she has been especially fun lately. She really does have a great sense of humor and can be as cute as a button, but when bedtime rolls around...oh boy! We've tried keeping her up later but nothing seems to stop the hour long yelling and crying that occurs every night. I've been sticking to my guns about the bedtime routine though....she can only have her little lamp on if she needs reading light and once I am out of her room...I don't go back in. (unless she's doing something dangerous of course...like climbing her dresser drawers) I am hoping that these molars come in soon and I can have my usual two year old back. I don't mind the 2 or 3 timeouts a day..but the 9 to 10 everyday are starting to wear on me.

Naptime

Oh how I love naptime! Today we have an extra kiddo because our friends are bringing home their second baby, a boy, home today! Even with an extra kid, I still have all three down for naps at the same time. My two are actually sleeping because they are used to this time, but Grace is fighting it a bit. She's tired, but this is a new environment, new bed, and familiar, but different faces. However, her little eyes are soooo sleepy so I am sure she will be blissfully asleep soon.

Now, I get some quiet time for me. I am going to prep dinner and cut up some veggies to go with the pulled pork I am cooking. We are going to be having pulled pork fajitas with fried peppers and onion with refried beans and chips and salsa on the side. We will be sharing our dinner with Felix and Anneke so they do not have to worry about food tonight...they only need to bask in the glory of bringing home their new baby boy...and feeling complete as a family.

Date night!

I didn't have the time to post on Friday because Adam and I got to go on a date! Adam's mom was in town due to business and she told us to take the night for ourselves. She didn't have to tell us twice! We made sure that we had Bree all ready for bed, and then headed out to our 8:30 reservation at The Melting Pot in Scottsdale. Our four year wedding anniversary is coming up here on February fifth so we figured we'd go out for our anniversary dinner early.

We had a great time! We have been there before so we knew what we were headed into...we enjoyed a multi course dinner complete with cheese fondue, salad, meats of varying kinds, and a delicious chocolate fondue at the end. The chocolate fondue was made with chocolate, caramel, peanut butter and Bailey's....mmmm deeeelicious!!!

Adam and I decided that we need to have more date nights so we made up a plan with some friends of ours to trade off on watching kiddos so that we both can have some good quality time as couples. It was nice to be able to complete a sentence without having to give a warning, or stop a kid from breaking something. I am looking forward to more date nights here soon!

Priorities

Priorities in life are a funny thing sometimes. Usually, the priorities you need to address are not the ones you really want to. Like picking up the living room, or mopping the floor, or finishing college that seems to be dragging on forever. Wait, those are all MY priorities.

I am so over school. I know I must finish in order to not waste the money that we have spent on my education so far. We have over $20,000 out on school loans. However, since I started school our plans and priorities have changed. We were planning on me starting to teach part time right after I finished my degree. At least enough that I could pay for my student loans. Now with Bree we do not feel that that is an option. She still needs special care with her G tube and neither of us feel comfortable leaving her with a babysitter or a daycare. We do not want to impose on our friends as we feel that we have hurt some friendships by asking them to watch Riley too much due to Bree's needs. We don't know what we are going to do when my student loans become due. My friend Anneke has gotten a forebearance (spelling?) on her student loans and will try to help me get the same.

So, for now...I finish school because I must. Because it is a priority. Because wasting money is a sin (it is, isn't it?). Priorities suck sometimes.

Hold your babies tight tonight

The horrible earthquake in Haiti seems to have put things into perspective for some people. Myself included. Not that I don't appreciate my family, but Riley is quick to irritate me, Bree seems to always be underfoot, and Adam is always leaving a trail of shirts he has already worn strewn about on the ground or the couch.

At least my children and husband are still alive to irritate me, be underfoot, or leaving dirty clothes in inconvenient piles and not dead in the street or crushed under a collapsed building. My heart breaks for the orphaned children, the now childless mothers, or the fathers who cannot find their families. I cannot imagine the grief, panic and anxiety they are going through. The thought of it bring tears to my eyes.

So tonight, I held Bree longer at bedtime. I kissed her little face, and squeezed her tight. When it was Riley's bedtime, she got to rock longer, read the same book three times, and I have indulged her with "Rock-a-bye baby" about thirty times.However, I still do not feel that is enough. So, I will appreciate more.

I will appreciate that my husband does the dishes, AND dumps the garbage and recycling.

I will appreciate Riley and her wonderful sense of humor.

I will appreciate that Bree can crawl, and is striving to learn more.

I will appreciate that I am alive.

I will appreciate that I CAN appreciate.

Straight from the mouths of babes

Now we all know that Riley is a talker...she tends to get that from me. As much as Riley is a talker, Bree is the opposite. It is going to be so interesting seeing these two grow up through the years. Even though Bree is less of a talker than Riley was at her age, she does still utter and use a few words correctly. The words that she uses are:

Up

Mama

Dada

All done (sounds like Ah-du, complete with shaking of hands)

Her speech therapist reassures me that this is completely acceptable for a one year old. I have nothing to compare it to except super speech Riley. For example, Riley and Grandma were playing with some stuffed animals two days ago. Riley had a monkey she was making say Oooo ah ah!, and Grandma had a frog that she was making to say Oooo ah ah!. Riley DID NOT like that and kept correcting Grandma, "It say Ribbi Ribbi!!!!". Well, after a few rounds of that, Riley clapped her hand on her forehead and said "I don't KNOW what to do with you!!!" Grandma and I just busted up laughing...it was so appropriate and cute!

Another story...last night the girls and I went to a friends house (Carrie Fay and Fernando's). On the way there, Riley was watching the previews to whatever movie was in the DVD player. About 30 seconds from their house, Riley proclaims "I watching a woowie (movie)....I need a cokcorn (popcorn)!". Now, I think we have only watched a movie and ate popcorn about twice in her lifetime. She is one smart cookie....or should I say, one smart kernel!

Disney on Ice here we come!

Grandma Gonce is treating me and Riley to the Disney on Ice show that will be in town this week. We are not going until Saturday, but I am excited! It is late tonight, I do not normally post this late. Today was the last day of my science class so I had to finish up some schoolwork, and pick up the trashed house. (It really wasn't trashed...just toy strewn) And since I have school to observe in the morning, I am going to make this short and sweet.

Good night all.
Sweet dreams.
I know I will sleep well...I am going to go take some sleep medicine because I have not slept well for two nights. I hope tonight is much better. I hope I sleep so well that I have no dreams. Know what I mean?

Bliggity Blog, Bloggity Blig.

I have not been feeling the blogging vibe lately. I think it is because my life is all filled up with plans, play dates, observations, and school work. It seems to suck all the creative, witty juices right outta me.

Here's our schedules right now:

Monday: Bree has therapy at 8. I observe at school from 8-12 while Adam is taking care of the girls.

Tuesday: School observing from 8-12

Wednesday: Bree has speech at 11.

Thursday: Bree has PT at 10.

Friday: I observe at school from 8 -12.

Now that I have written that out I can see that my afternoons are pretty free...Riley naps from 1-3 and Bree needs to eat at 8, 12, and 5. It doesn't allow for much "going" to happen in the afternoons so we are either at home, or up the road five houses at Anneke's house. After the girls go to bed I pick up the house, eat my dinner, get ready for bed and then do my schoolwork.

Life is good.

Drowning.

Right now I am drowning in schoolwork. Please forgive me for not writing more tonight. Sorry, but the class I am paying over $800 dollars for takes precedence right now. I still love you all. I really do. Really.

It's update time!

It has been a while since I outlined what the girls are up to, and how life is going/has changed for us. Life is in a constant motion of changing and rearranging in our house so we are always kept on our toes. Here's the updates:

Riley: She has hit the terrible two's. We talk much of choices and of time outs MULTIPLE times a day. I am hoping that by being firm now, I am reinforcing habits and good behavior for later on in life. Only time will tell.

She is quite the little chatterbox (wonder where she gets that from!) and is quite advanced with her language. She talks in sentences and will make connections that I assume most two year olds don't make. For example, this morning we were watching Go Diego Go! and there was a part in it that showed a bigger giraffe and a baby giraffe. Riley ran up to me saying "That's you Mom! You're the mom!!! I'm the baby!" She did the same thing later on in the evening when watching Ice Age: The Meltdown. She told Adam that he was Manny. He was the daddy elephant.

Bree: This little miss is a crawler! She crawls everywhere and is just starting to discover that she can get into stuff. Along with her crawling has come more talking...more babble and a few reinforcements of words. She knows and recognizes that I am Mama, and Adam is Dada. She can say "up" and requests it sometimes. We are working on a 'word' to stand for Riley, because apparently it is a really hard name for a little one to say. The "R" is hard to pronounce, but so is the "L" in it. I guess we'll start calling her "i, e". Ha ha!

Bree is getting better with her eating and we are up to about a tablespoon and a half at every feeding. (so three times a day) It's a start, and when she gets better with the eating we will start working on drinking from a cup. I do not want to throw too many things at her to be 'learning' and have her shut down and not allow us to be putting anything in her mouth. It's a hard balance, but we are working on it!

Adam and I are doing well, and getting back into the groove of things since the holidays are over. Life is good for now, and that's all I could ask for!

(mini) New Years Resolution

I plan on doing mini resolutions each month since the "year" resolutions never seem to work out. This month I am working on my language and speech. I want to speak more kindly to my children and husband. I find myself (and I am sure many of you do too) snapping at them too quickly,  raising my voice too fast, and getting irritated at the drop of a hat (or the whine of a voice). Namely, at a certain two year old:

The irritation normally starts with a face like that and whining of "Mommy! Mooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyy! Mooommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy! Where are you?????" when she is directly below me, leaning on me and stretching up at me. I love her dearly, but my goodness can she quickly push my buttons!

So, deep breathing is my new friend this month. January is the month of deep breathing.

Strike is over!

Ha ha, just kidding! I really wasn't on strike, I was just enjoying the time with my brother and sister while they were visiting. Next time I will be sure to let everyone know when I will be back as to not create any confusion or worry.

We had a great visit with my brother (Caleb) and my sister (Danielle) while they were here. They went home this afternoon despite Riley's attempt of keeping them here by refusing to give them goodbye hugs. Auntie stole a goodbye hug against Riley's will and Uncle Oo-bah just refused to deal with the screaming, crying, flailing rag doll of a two year old. (I have no idea why!??)

I thought it would be easier for Riley to see them off if we all went to the park before the time they needed to take off to burn off some extra energy and have a bit of fun. Then, when it was time for them to leave I could take the girls back home while Adam took Danielle and Caleb to the airport. I was right about the energy burning and the bit of fun, but was wrong about it making the goodbye part easier.

We did manage to get quite a few photos at the park though...hope you enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Isabella Grace Minard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another year drawing to a close

As this year ends and another begins, I look forward to what it holds. This last year was the most interesting I have had so far. I have learned many things about myself, and changed my views on quite a few things. One of the most important things that I learned and plan to keep with me is to not judge others based upon what you can see. They have had many different experiences and their life has taken a different path than my own. I cannot judge their way of parenting because every child is different and until you are in that situation yourself you have no idea what it is like. This was a great concept for me to learn, and has been even harder to accept and practice. This lesson has always been repeated to me, but with the experiences I have had with Bree I got to learn this one the hard way. We have had many suggestions and stories told to us about how we should be raising her and what we should be doing. However, it has made me more thankful and opened my eyes to the fact that the life we are sharing as a family is our own, and it is ours to take our own path with.

We will be ringing in the New Year with my brother and sister here to celebrate with us and I wouldn't have it any other way. Surrounded by those we love, we will be looking forward to what the year of 2010 has in store for us...and for all of you!!!

Isabella Grace Minard

We all have a new member of our family! Isabella Grace Minard was born by emergency C section on December 26 at 8:29 in the morning. She weighed 8 lbs, 12 ounces and was 21 inches long. She has already proved herself to have a good set of lungs, and is just as cute as can be. Pictures to follow in a few days.