Shades.

So, why the shades you ask?? Stay tuned to find out....

"Shoo!! GO AWAY!"

Those are the words my precious, darling, sweet, first born daughter told me tonight. She was protesting going to bed, and I told her that was enough. She rebuked with "Shoo! GO AWAY!! NO WANT YOU! SHOO! SHOO!".

Ah, the joy of a two year old. Just oozing with kindness and appreciation.

P.S. I will admit it made me giggle a little bit to be "shoo"-ed.

Discipline

"Spare the rod, and spoil the child". I have heard this many times in my lifetime, and I do truly believe in it. Yes, you heard me right. We spank. However, I also believe that some children need to be spanked, while others are fine with just a harsher tone of voice and a disapproving look. We are so very lucky in our house to have one of each of those children.

Riley is the spanker. Harsher voices do nothing for her. She giggles at the disapproving look. Timeouts are a joke to her (but we still do them). She sings in timeout, as if it were karoake time. So for her, we do three strikes and you're out. She gets two timeouts for the same offense and the third time she gets a spanking and has to go to her room. There are days when I think it is working, but then there are days (like today) that make me question my parenting.

Riley uses reverse psychology on us. I swear. Her new thing is when we spank her, she thanks us. It never fails, spank Riley and "Thank you Mommy" or "Thank you Daddy" comes out of her little mouth. It has us baffled. We're not sure how to react. We just tell her "You're welcome, but you must now stay in your room as punishment." She either says "Okay!" or starts crying. She is a mystery.

Bree is our harsh voice/nasty look child. Works everytime. I love it. I wish Riley were more like her.

Please...

Bree signed please today to her therapist! Woo hoo!

You gotta celebrate the small things in life. :)

A breakthrough

I hope I am not jinxing ourselves but I think we are on the edge of a breakthrough with Bree. She is starting to communicate more. I have been praying and hoping that she would start to express more with us, and lately in the past three days she's made improvements.

She shakes her head "no" to express herself appropriately. We are working on "yes" and she can do it when prompted, but not yet as an expression.

She does the signs for "all done", "more" and "milk" as she wants or needs to use them. We are working on "please" and "thank you".

She has started to sign along with "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Twinkle twinkle little star". She can only do one movement, but she is expressing interest in doing the moves with us.

I hope that this trend continues and I have more to report back to you later in the week!

Happy weekend...

This is one of those relax at home weekends. Sometimes those are the best.

Riley has taken a liking to baby dolls, and has even named her ladybug cabbage patch doll "Lily Lee". I am sure the baby's name will change again, but I am impressed with her choice of name. It is an actual name, and not something silly. She carries her babies around, shooshing them and telling them "It's okay.". She puts them in timeout, pushes them in their strollers, and disappears for a while into her room every so often only for me to find her tucking her baby into bed when I check on her.

Bree has been getting around so quickly lately. She is a crawling pro! She crawls to Riley's room, to her room, the play kitchen, the real kitchen and anywhere else she can get to. Her and Riley are starting to play more together which is sweet to hear when they are getting along. Right now at this moment Riley is telling to Bree to "Shoo shoo get out" of where she is playing at and Bree is whining about it. Bree continues to improve with her length of time she can stand unassisted, and we are working on her walking. She will really only take one step before collapsing down on her knees to start crawling. She is not quite comfortable with the walking. Her physical therapist says her core muscles are not strong enough to allow her to feel stable so she can walk with confidence. We do daily exercises on the exercise ball to help strengthen the muscles for her.

I am almost done with all my observations at school. Next week is the last week of school and I will only be going in on Tuesday. (Thursday Bree has an evaluation to see where she is at with her development). I am excited to complete this portion of my schooling because it brings me one step closer to my student teaching in August, which is one step closer to graduation and completion of college. I am in one class right now, and when that class is complete I only have one left. Woo hoo!

Adam is working hard on working out and getting into shape for his physical test he has on June 3rd. Since I am almost done with school he (and myself) are looking forward to him switching to day shift so that he can be home to help me out with the girls at night. It will be great to have someone home at night to talk to, eat dinner with, and go to bed with. It's lonely going to bed by myself every night.

That's us in a nut shell right now. Life is good, and we plan on enjoying the rest of our weekend...together.

Hello, my name is Tasha and I have anxiety.

I see a psychiatrist. I take anxiety medication. I am proud of myself for seeking help.

I do not understand why our nation has made it something shameful to take medication for a mental problem one has. Would we be ashamed of taking high blood pressure  medication or insulin for diabetes? I don't think so. Mental or physical, many of the problems that we have are unavoidable or not caused by a specific action or reason.

I am proud that I recognized that I was having a difficult time with specific things and I sought help. It did take me a year and a half to realize it's not something I can control on my own, but I realized it. I made sure I got help. My life, my children's and my husband's lives are all better now that I have better control of myself and my emotions.

Why should we be ashamed if we need help? I think it is just silly to not reach out for help. To suffer in silence for fear of feeling embarrased? I think it is something to be proud of to take that step in helping yourself. Sometimes you just have to put yourself first no matter what others may say or think of you. If it can make you a better person, or help you in some way, I say go for it. Get the help you need. It may be the best thing you can do for yourself.

I know it was for me.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms who wipe snotty noses, clean dirty diapers, watch cartoons with their kids, give hugs and kisses daily, and who love their children unconditionally.

A special Mother's Day salute to all the single Dads who get to be moms and dads to their kids.

A super special Mother's Day wish to all the mothers who do not get to be with their families on this special day due to serving in the military overseas.  You are more important than you know. Thank you for serving.

P.T.H.

Potty training H.E. double hockey sticks. That's what we've been in. We are going to give it one more full day of trying and if it continues the way it is going we are going to go back to diapers.

She wets and won't tell us. She fights us to sit on the potty. We have resorted to giving her an M&M every time she even sits on the potty. It's the only thing that works. We've had no pee or poop in the potty yet. It's been two days.

How do people do this? I think she is not ready. Her preschool tells me that she does all the motions (sitting on the potty and showing interest). Her at home is a different story. So we give the good old fashioned all in try for one more day. One. more. day.

Guess who?

Guess who is starting potty training tomorrow??

(Disclaimer: This was a "practice" time so Riley does have panties on. No nudity will be seen on this blog.)

Caved

I caved. I couldn't do it. Bree doesn't understand that when she feels hungry she needs to eat. All she does is cry in a certain way that I am sure I can feel my heart breaking into little pieces. We did sweat it out today right up until bedtime. She only had 3 ounces of milk today, and a few bites of a ritz cracker. This afternoon all she wanted to do was to be held, and she wanted to cry. I couldn't do it.

So before bed, she got a energy drink calorie induced tube fed meal. Two ounces of milk is approximately 40 calories, 1 tbsp of peanut butter =  90 calories, 1 tbsp of honey = 65 calories, 1 scoop doucal = 40 calories, 1 tsp of olive oil = 40 calories all equals out to about 3.5 ounces of  "food" that is 275 calories. Which makes one happy Bree, and one happy Mama.

Day 1 total

Bree's first day total of food:

She did get her morning tube feed before we went to the doctor, which was 8 ounces and 415 calories.

She also ate/drank:

5.5 ounces of whole milk which is approximately 100 calories.

2 chocolate M&M's

I am hoping tomorrow will be a more promising day since it will be her first full day without any tube feeds.

Opportunity to shine!

Today we had a pediatrician appt to talk about appetite stimulant for Bree. Our pediatrician does not reccomend it. I was counting on her backing me for the support of it, but that's okay.

She gave us the go ahead to start trying to wean Bree off of her g tube. Right now Bree eats 3 ritz crackers a day, and drinks about an ounce of whole milk. I think a lot of her lack on wanting to eat is because she is not hungry. How could she be when her breakfast tube fed meal is about 400 calories, and her lunch and dinner tube feeds are 300 each along with a night drip that is 180 calories. That is 1180 calories a day, which is what she needs to be getting. So, if you are getting all the calories you need, you would be full, right? So why would you need to eat by mouth? You have no reason to.

So, Bree will be not receiving any tube feeds during the day for the next 4 days. That is our trial period to see if she is ready to start eating by mouth. She will still be getting her night feed in order to assure she is staying hydrated. I am very hesitant and nervous about this, but I know it's the right thing to do. She's never going to get off of her tube unless we give her the opportunity to show us.

Please be praying for her, and for us as we embark on this adventure together.  I will be sure to keep everyone updated.

Las Vegas Trip

Putting the fun back into it...

I am not sure where I fell off track, but I am sure glad that I recognized it. I used to pride myself on being the "fun" babysitter. I had the crafts, the games and I was not beneath crawling around and growling like a monster to find 'hiding' kids. I loved it, and so did the kids I babysat.

Somewhere between babysitting at 17 and having a two year old and one year old of my own...I lost the fun. I am not sure where it has gone. I think it is lost in piles of laundry, hours of lost sleep, and a massive pile of toys, most of which are broken or missing pieces.

I am vowing to start putting the fun back into my parenting. I am too busy multi tasking, doing schoolwork, or picking up behind the kids. Tomorrow I am going to set my timer in fifteen minute increments and STOP AND PLAY. 

I will get on my knees and crawl around like a monster. I will turn the music up and dance like a maniac. I will give my children my all. All of the fun. All of the laughter. All of me.

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Disclaimer: This could gross you out.

So this morning Adam and I were both kind of doing our own things in the house. During this particular event he was doing dishes, I was finishing up my tea on the couch, and both girls were playing by going in and out of the house since the back door was open. Riley happened to make her way into the kitchen. She was standing there talking and kept saying "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to Adam. Being the good Daddy that he was, he was half listening and responding (I do it all the time!) and asked her if she wanted to sing that song.

When he turned around Riley had a cockroach in her hand!!!!! She thought it was THE Itsy Bitsy Spider and was showing it to Daddy! Adam freaked out and Riley dropped it, leaving Adam to stomp on it. Riley must have found it outside and brought it in to show off her find.

Needless to say, we ended up having a good laugh over it...after we got over our heebie jeebies from the cockroach.

Who's the man?

I am the man.

Today I did something my husband has never, and does not know how to do.

I waxed my car.

I know how to do this thanks to my parents. I learned due to the many times I got into trouble...but I was usually waxing a motorhome, and not a car. (Note to self: Make kids do the unpleasant chores as punishment...that way I don't have to do them.) Thank goodness I was such a troublemaker or I would not know how to do many of the things I know how to do.

Doing this today made me curious, how do things work in your family? Does the wife do just the wifely duties, and the man do the manly stuff?

I actually enjoy doing some "manly" chores, it makes me feel empowered and satisfied with myself. Maybe it's a little odd, but it works for us. Adam also doesn't mind doing the "womanly" chores from time to time. He's awesome like that.

How does it work for you?

One small step for Bree...one giant leap for preemie kind!

Guess who's steppin?

Bree!!! Bree took her first steps today with the help of a walker toy!!!!! AND I caught it on video!!!!!!!!!! Now I will try to put it on here later.

I could not be prouder.

My littlest girl is getting so big!

2

Two things:

1. Riley and I were just making some orange juice (Tang to be exact) and I was telling her it smelled like orange...she corrected me and said "No Mommy it smells like green".

2. When I went to the cupboard to get her a sippy cup she put her hand up and said "Mommy...I no use a sippy. I use a cup. I a BIG GIRL!"

Darn kids and growing up. I couldn't be happier!

Hoppy Easter!

400

That's how many posts I have had since starting this little blog. I'm just slightly proud.

There was a reason for this blog post. Bree has been flying along with her accomplishments lately. Just as soon as she does something she's moving onto the next thing before I get a chance to post about it. She is now pulling to a stand on tables, chairs, couches, doors, refrigerators, dishwashers, legs, and anything she can. She is also cruising around on everything she can. And just last night she is letting go of those things and trying to stand on her own. It does last about a good 2 seconds and BOOM! down she goes.

She is so proud of herself, it is amazing to see. We are also very proud of her too. She's not a baby anymore...she's officially a toddler!

Insert sarcasm here

Time out works REALLY well for Bree. I mean really.

She REALLY enjoys it. Sigh. What ever will I do with this child?

Any ideas?

Buggin Daddy

Riley's prayer

"Time to ber-ay?" (Time to pray? She interlaces her hands and bow her head)

"God is good. Thank you for food. Love me family. Jesus name AAAAMEN! Abaluyah!" (Hallelujah)

Goodness gracious, I love her so.

Please spread the word...and pray! pray! pray!

Jason Gump is a close family friend and is battling with brain cancer for his second time. Last night his wife, Devin, had to take him to the ER for breathing difficulties and he in now in ICU in an induced coma on a ventilator. We need your prayers, your love, your positive thoughts sent their way. You can read their story by clicking here. Please say this prayer with me and please copy and paste in your status, or send messages, or spread it however you see fit: 

 

Dear Lord, please be with our friends, The Gumps. They are fighting a huge fight with brain cancer, and Jason needs you more than ever right now. Please send them a miracle. Please watch over Devin, Faith, and Wyatt while Jason is... fighting, and give Devin more strength than ever. In your name, I pray. Amen. 

 

We love you Gumps.

 

 

 

 

Positive thoughts, prayers...anything!

I am at my wits end. Usually I can deal well with whatever is thrown our way...but we've had a rough past two months. I had a falling out with a friend a while ago, and ever since then someone has been sick, all of us have been sick, someone got bit by a dog, fifths disease, ear infections, pink eye...the list goes on. Today Riley now has a bad yeast infection, and I suspect a possible UTI. We will see when we visit the pediatrician tomorrow.


Your prayers, well wishes, positive thoughts, or whatever you do to wish well upon others would be greatly appreciated. We have done everything except ask for the support of everyone else, so I figure it is time to draw upon our group of wonderful prayer warriors and well wishers. Thank you so much!

My face may be different, but my feelings the same.


I laugh, I cry, I take pride in my gains.

I was sent here among you to teach you to love.

As God in the heavens looks down from above.

To Him I am no differnt, His love knows no bounds.

It's those here among you, in cities and towns,

That judge me by standards that man has imparted.

But the family He's choosen will help me get started.

For I'm one of his childern, so special, so few,

That came here to learn the same lessons as you.

That love is acceptance, it must come from the heart.

We all have the same purpose, though not from the start.

The Lord gave me my life to live and embrace.

And I'll do it as you do, just at my own pace.

~Unknown

What'cha say?

Little kids are known for not being able to pronounce things correctly. I enjoy it so much. It is so cute to listen to them mispronounce common words. Here's a few things that Riley and Bree have been saying:

Riley:

W = Bubble wu

Flashlight = Flah flight

Adam = Alam

Baby Gavin = Bebe Gabin

Sister Bree = Sissa Bree

Bree:

Up = Bup

Bye bye = Bu-Bu

Sponge Bob = Spu - Bah

Sprinkles!

Being a mom of girls, I understand that a large part of our lives is going to be glitter, pink, purple, and all things bright. However, I was not expecting Riley to change the name of a common practice in our house. Most people call it "knuckles". You make your hand into a fist and bump 'knuckles' with another person in order to greet them, say hello, celebrate, or whatever you want it to signify.

Riley has changed the name to 'sprinkles'. It cracks me up. She has 'girlified' the act of giving knuckles. She hollers "SPRINKLES!!!" then pounds her little fist into yours with exuberence. I love her.

Coughing along

Well, the kids are on the mend, but Mommy and Daddy are still sick. We are coughing and hacking, but still holding things together. Today I am working on keeping the house clean, one room at a time. I clean a room, then force myself to sit and drink some water, and watch a show. Then it's off to clean another room.

Riley's room is already cleaned...and the giant pile of laundry that needs to folded is next! Adam has been given the rest of the week off on quarters, which means he cannot leave the house. So I have canceled my observations for the rest of this week in order to take care of everyone and keep the house in order.

Next week is spring break for the school I observe in, so we will have some fun activities planned for our family. After next week, it'll be back to the observations.

Your prayers, well wishes and positive thoughts would be appreciated on helping us to get better soon! We are ready to be all done coughing and hacking!!

Tech Saavy at 18 months

 

 

The many faces of Riley

This was within a span of 30 seconds....

 

 

  

  

  

Silly girl.

Sickness

Sickness has been creeping through our house. I woke up Wednesday with a sore throat that just got worse through out the day. I ended up going into urger care because I couldn't even swallow the saliva in my mouth without grimacing in pain. The doctor thought I had strep so I was sent home with antibiotics, and I was down and out for Thursday. I barely moved off of the couch. My good friend, Carrie Fay, was an angel and gave me some homemade rainbow chard soup (I think that's the way it's spelled)...it was delicious and just what I needed. Thankfully, Adam was able to take the day off because of how sick I was.

Friday was a tiny bit better, I still felt like a truck hit me, but Adam had to go to work. I sure wish he could have stayed home, but we managed. The girls watched a lot of cartoons. Every once in a while, kids are allowed to have a down day. And so is Mommy.

Unfortunately, Adam's work was ever so kind and thoughtful, and decided to put him on weekend duty so he was gone on Saturday as well. He was gone from 8 am to 9 pm. I was feeling a little ambitious and I built the girls a "cave" using our table, the table cloth, and a few extra sheets. I heard so many giggles and laughs that day...I think just the sound of those lifted my spirits.

Today Adam woke up with a sore throat just like the one I had on Wednesday so he went off to urgent care. He was sent home with the same diagnosis as I had. So Adam will have a follow up appt in the morning, and Riley needs to go to her pediatrician as well. She has an ear infection and needs to be checked out.

I am hoping that this sickness marches it's little booty right out of here...we don't need it or want it here....

Will you support or march for Bree?

Hello all our cherished family and friends!




We're very excited to be a part of March for Babies this year and hope you will join our team to walk in support of Bree and all other preemies!



Every day, thousands of babies are born too soon, too small and often very sick. We're walking because we want to do something about this.



The money we raise will support March of Dimes research and programs that help moms have full-term pregnancies and babies begin healthy lives. And it will be used to bring comfort and information to families with a baby in newborn intensive care. Even Bree has benefited already from the hard work that March of Dimes does. The surfactant shot that she received at birth to keep her lungs open and able to exchange oxygen was designed because of the support from people like you. With your support, even more medical advances can be made, and more babies be saved.



Please join our team. You can do so on our team Web page. If you can't walk with us, please help the team reach our goal by making a donation. You can do that online as well.



Visit my team Web page at: http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1381878







If you would like to learn more about March for Babies, visit the Web site at marchforbabies.org.





Thank you for helping us give all babies a healthy start!





The Gonce Family

www.flickr.com/photos/gonce

http://goncechronicles.blogspot.com/

Morning of insanity

This week I am observing in an elementary school not too far from home. Today, I was glad it was not too far from home because, boy oh boy!, did we have a crazy day. Riley had an appt with her orthopedic surgeon; the same one she saw when she was 9 months old for her hip. This time it was about her elbow that seems to like to dislocate.

So this morning went like this:

I left at 8 for school.

Adam took Bree to a friend's house around 8:30 ish and went home to grab Riley's diaper bag and get into the car to take her to her orthopedic appt.

8:45: Adam gets a call from friend watching Bree that her dog bit Bree. Adam high tails it there to check on Bree, and calls to arrange a doctor appt for Bree.

9:00: Friend takes Bree to the doctor while Adam picks me up at school to accompany him to Riley's doctor appt. I have a mild 30 second freak out, then am okay.

10:00 ish: Both girl's doctor appts went well. Bree is on another antibiotic to prevent infection since one dog 'tooth' pierced her cheek. Riley will not need surgery at all for her elbow issue. As long as it can be popped back in every time, all is well. If for some reason it won't, they will cast her arm in a specific position to force the ligament into the correct position. This is very rare and does not happen often.

The rest of the day went well, but we are obviously hoping for a much better morning tomorrow.

Trial run

This next week I will be doing a trial run of what most working moms do every day. I have not even started, but I don't know how the working moms do it. I know there are many who do not have a choice, and have to do it because of financial situations, but I am sure this next week is going to make me very thankful that we are not in that position. Some moms choose to, and that works for them. To each their own. Some moms would go crazy staying home everyday. Trust me, there are days that I feel like I am losing my mind, and all I am doing is putting kids in time out, or correcting them.

However, I think because I have experienced staying home with my kiddos, I wouldn't want it any other way. I couldn't imagine having someone else spend more time with my kid than I do. I know that day will come when that will happen because of school (if we choose to go the public school route), but I want to hang onto these short 5-6 years that I get them all to myself.

So wish me luck as I embark on this new adventure, and pray that I learn much. My respect and admiration go out to you working moms.

I never want to forget...

...that instead of "kiss", Riley says "piss". Like, "Mommy, I wanna gi you a piss."

...that today at the zoo, Riley announced to every one that the bird in the cage was a Macaw. "Look!!!! A MACAW!!" (I certainly didn't teach her that...I give all credit to Go Diego Go).

Last but not least, I never want to forget this sweet face:

 

Bree is starting to give up her pacifiers, and only uses them at bedtime, naptime, or right after she gets up. She has also started to become fond of blankies, especially fleece ones.  She seems to be growing up so fast...she is pulling to a stand on tables, can crawl super fast, and is very curious...and very stubborn. Her cry has changed recently in the way it sounds...she is growing into being a toddler and is no longer a baby. Sigh.

13 hours

7:30 this morning:

 

8:30 tonight:

I think her first day of preschool was a success.

Here we go!

So, we've had an eventful week so far...and we've still got two days left in it! Monday night we went into the ER with Bree because she was crying uncontrollably and was unable to be consoled. She had bright red cheeks, nose and chin and was not a happy kid. I was worried that her UTI had spread to her kidneys so into the ER we went. The ER staff were not very knowledgable with children, and 4 hours later we were discharged with a diagnosis of "fever of unknown origin" and "fussiness". Hello, that's why I brought her in!!! They did test her urine and were able to tell me that it was clear of infection.

So, the next morning we were off to the pediatrician where Bree was diagnosed with Fifths disease. It is a viral infection that causes a red face, a rash on the face, arms and chest, joint and muscle pain, and fatigue. So poor Bree has yet again more to deal with. However, she remains strong and is fighting it off. She does seem to want to be snuggled most of the time, and she cannot be left alone in a room without panicking and crying.

Our other big news is that tomorrow is Riley's first day of "preschool". We just aren't cutting it for her. She needs some kid interaction, and an environment that can stimulate her. We have enrolled her in Radiant Kidz Zone, which is a part of the church I used to work at. You can check it out by clicking here. She will be enrolled for two full days a week: on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We can check in on her at any time online through a web cam that is set up in all the rooms at the preschool.

The other good thing about this is that I can now step up and do the school observations that I need to in order to get my schooling finished up. I am only 3 classes away (and 12 weeks of student teaching) away from getting my bachelors degree in Elementary Education. This will be a huge accomplishment for me. Also, while Adam is in Korea it will be helpful as Bree has OT on Tuesdays at ten in downtown phoenix, and PT on Thursdays at ten at 59th and Thunderbird. Both are about 30 to 45 minutes away from our house. It is really difficult to take Riley to these appointments so while she is having fun in "school", Bree will have some learning of her own.

Whew! That was a looong post. Hope I didn't miss anything and this finds you all well.

 

 

A change in course

We have a change in Bree's antibiotic course. I got a call from the doctor today saying that the antibiotics we had her on were inefficient against the type of bacteria that Bree had. The cultures they took had started to grow and they were able to tell what kind of bacteria she had. When they first discovered she had a UTI they just put her on the most usual course of antiobiotics that typically clear up whatever it is. Now that they know for sure what it is, we hope this antibitotic will work well..and fast. Poor kiddo.

Kids this young are not suppose to get UTI infections (? not sure why), so they will be doing some extra testing on her to make sure all her anatomy is correct. She will have an ultrasound of her kidneys, and have some dye injected into her bladder through a catheter while they watch where it goes. If it goes back up into her kidneys (which is bad) we may be looking at surgery for her at worst, or keeping her on a low dose of antibiotics to help prevent infection.

Only time will tell. So for now we give this antibiotic once a day for the next ten days. And pray for her relief and healing.

Rocky Road

No, I'm not talking about the ice cream...I'm talking about the last few days for our family.

Bree has a UTI and yeast infection. She is not a happy camper at all. Which makes us not happy campers....

Through my life I have heard the saying "When it rains, it pours". That is how I am feeling now. Bree is in pain and whining, wanting to be carried and loved on, which is very valid giving how she feels. Riley, on the other hand, does not understand that. She only knows that I am holding Bree and not her so she cries and whines, and acts naughty because I can't pick her up too.

Sigh. I sure hope Bree's medicine starts working soon.