Sisterly love

So, I think I am going to jump around a bit. I don't want to 'bore' you with the recanting of Bree's past year of life, so I will do a day on, day off type of scenario. Today will be the off day of my storytelling. Now onto the sisterly love...

Our girls are growing and learning to interact with each other more every day. Riley takes the time to say hi to Bree every morning, and if for some reason she gets  up before Bree she runs around the house going "Where's Bree? I don know?!". She gives Bree kisses and hugs, and shows her how to dance (by taking her hands and jerking them every which way while screaming "Dance Bree Dance!!!!!!"). However, it is done with good intentions so, I do not stop it until Riley gets too wild with the arm flinging.

Not to be outdone, Bree is learning how to pick on Riley. If Riley is standing near her and holding a blanket/long toy/anything that drags, Bree will roll over and try to grab it. Nine times out of ten she is successful! I know that one day I will hate hearing these exact words, but hearing Riley screech "Bree STOP IT!" is music to my ears.

Since this is Labor Day weekend, we are going out to my aunt and uncle's house to spend some time with them...and I will not be posting this weekend. I am taking a bit of time off to enjoy watching my two little girls pick on each other...lovingly of course. :)

Homecoming!

The month of December was homecoming month for Bree. No, not the high school dance type of homecoming, but the warm and fuzzy bring your baby home for the first time type of homecoming. If you can recall from Tuesday's post, Bree had eye surgery right at the beginning of the month and came out great! My grandma (the girls call her Nana, well really Bree doesn't call her anything quite yet, but you get the idea...) came out right after that and stayed for a week which helped us out tremendously!

Right before Bree was able to come home, we all came down with the flu. Not just the achy body flu..I am talking THE flu. The throwing up, diarrhea, fever, achy body can't move type of flu. Maybe it was just our way of getting it out of the way before she came home. We'll never know. All I know is that it wasn't pleasant. At all.

December 15th, 2008 was the big day! (which was 4 days before her due date. If you have a preemie you know how big of a deal it is to bring them home BEFORE their due date...even if it is just four days.) After some mix up on the time we were bringing her home we got Riley sent off to Steve and Cheri's house for an overnight stay..ahem, excuse me...sleepover with her friend Chelsea. After packing up three months of stuff (it was amazing how much there was!) we made sure her apnea monitor was on, her oxygen was good and we got her strapped in and ready to go!

(What a great opportunity for a then and now photo! For your viewing pleasure..here's Bree in her car seat!)

The rest of the month of December was packed with appointments, Christmas and getting (finally!) our first family professional photos of four taken. However, nothing will amount to the sense of pride, fear, worry, excitement, relief and happiness that I felt the day we brought her home. To lay her on our living room floor on a blanket just seemed to cement it all in. We are a family of four and no matter what comes our way we can overcome it.

Wordless Wednesday

Carrying on with my reminiscing

Here we are back on track with Bree's first months of life. We covered her first two months, then did some backtracking...and now we are here at November!

November brought us many visitors in our household. This allowed me to leave Riley with whomever was here so that I could spend much needed time with her. In the beginning of the month, Adam's mom, Wilma came to visit. She was even lucky enough to be able to give Bree a bath! Like she said "When else am I going to have a chance to wash a two pound baby? I hope never, but it was an experience I will never forget for sure!"

Bree crept over the 3 pound mark, and even got to start wearing some real clothes! (Okay, so they were super small preemie sizes and still looked big, but hey! the kid had been naked for two months!) After Adam's mom flew home, my mom flew in to help. My mom was amazing and helped out with Riley, did some laundry for us, and even made a few of my favorite meals. (There's nothing like your mom's cooking!)

Next, my stepmom Mindy, brother Caleb and sister Danielle flew out to visit. (We're still talking about November here...told you it was busy!) I was brave enough to let Mindy be the first person besides Adam or myself to feed Bree a bottle, and she did great! My brother was deathly afraid to touch Bree for fear of breaking her, and my sister took some time to warm up. However, Auntie did great with snuggling once she warmed up to the idea of it.

The end portion of November wrapped up with Bree breaking the 4 pound mark! She also was diagnosed with ROP (retinopathy of prematurity) and it was decided in the beginning of December that she would have laser eye surgery to correct the problem. On December 2nd she did just that....and came out great!

Speaking of eyes, I am going to wrap this up with a great then and now photo comparison...eye, yi yi!

 

 

Backtracking...

I know I promised to continue on with Bree's first year of life tonight, but it was brought to my attention that I kinda 'glazed over' the specifics of Bree's birth story. I hope (hope! hope! hope!) that that was the last time I am ever going to be in fear of my life or not know if I am going to be able to wake up and kiss my husband and hold my kids close. So, without further a-do here it is, "The Story":  (better get your kleenex ready)

 

So I have had quite a few people ask me about the story of what transpired before Bree’s birth. I figure that I would take the time to tell it for everyone. On Wednesday the 10^th, Adam, Riley and I had been out looking at houses for a good part of the day so I hadn’t been drinking the usual amount of water. When we got home that night I noticed I was having what felt like Braxton Hicks contractions, but they were only on the right side of my belly, which is where Bree was. I just attributed it to being dehydrated and wasn’t too worried since they were only on one side of my belly. They continued off and on until we went to bed for the night, which is when I started timing them. They were about seven minutes apart, but they weren’t too painful. Last time I was pregnant, and had gone in with similar symptoms I was told to not come in until they were painful enough that you couldn’t talk normally through them. They were not that painful, so I put a pillow behind my back to help with some of the discomfort and got settled into bed. 

Adam reached over to touch my leg and say “good night” when all of a sudden I felt a gush of fluid come out. I hollered at Adam to get me a towel and he jumped right up and got one. I immediately sat on it to avoid getting it on the bed and checked to see what it was. Unfortunately it was a massive amount of blood so I told Adam to go get Riley ready and that we were going to the hospital. The bleeding wasn’t stopping, so Adam and I contemplated calling an ambulance, but decided against it because in our previous experience with Riley and her RSV, they take a really long time to actually get you into the ambulance. First they call the base firefighters to come look at you, and then they call an ambulance if they decide you need it. We didn’t have that much time so Adam rushed to get Riley ready and in the car. 

I was still sitting on the bed, on the towel, and I realized that I needed to get up and change my pants, and put on a pad to help with the bleeding. I stood up and started to ‘waddle’ to the bathroom with the towel between my legs. About halfway to the bathroom I started to feel something large sliding out of me. I started to panic and yelled for Adam. When I went to go sit down on the toilet, a clot about four inches across and round (the size of a tea plate) fell onto the ground. I panicked and almost started crying. Adam had rushed into the bathroom and I showed him what had happened. He encouraged me to hurry up and get dressed so we could get to the hospital as soon as possible. I got cleaned up, and dressed and got into the car. At this point the “Braxton Hicks” contractions were starting to get painful and I was pretty sure that there were more than Braxton Hicks contractions.

Adam was speeding to the hospital as fast as he could, and about halfway there the contractions were getting more painful. With every contraction there was a small gush of blood, but there was one contraction that was bigger than the rest and there was a giant gush of blood. At the same time I started to feel light headed, overly hot, and my ears started ringing. These are signs that I am going to pass out, and I knew that so I started to panic. I was worried that I would pass out and fall on Adam, or fall forward and hit my head on the dashboard. Adam was helping to calm me down, and I got my head laying on the door of the car, right in the path of the cool, blowing air conditioning. I don’t think I passed out, however, I don’t always know if I do or don’t because I always lay down and close my eyes and rest when I start to feel that way. After about five minutes of laying in the ac air I felt well enough to sit up partway. We rushed to the hospital and pulled up right by the emergency room doors.

Adam rushed in to ask for a stretcher for me, since sitting up wasn’t a good idea due to my passing out. Can you believe it…they didn’t have any! So this guy comes out with a wheel chair, and I climb into it. As he was pushing me in, he asked me if I was registered with the hospital. I replied to him, while gritting my teeth through a contraction, that yes, I was registered and that I had had my daughter there a year ago. He says “Well let’s check anyways”. At this point, I was in a lot of pain from my contraction and was very angry with this guy that was pushing me. Adam was off parking the car and getting Riley out so he was not there to help.

This wonderful gentleman that was pushing me wheeled me into the registration area and asked the lady behind the counter if he could just take me up to labor and delivery without me filling out paperwork. She did not know and had to go ask someone else. I was starting to feel light headed again so I rested my head in my hands. The wheelchair pusher asked if I was feeling okay, and I replied not so nicely, “No, I am bleeding, and I feel like I am going to pass out again, I already did once in the car”…his response to me was “Oh don’t do that on me, I am already not having a good night”. I couldn’t believe that he had said that! Finally, we got the okay to go up to labor and delivery.

Once we got up into the labor and delivery triage area and they got me onto a bed. They rushed to find Bree’s heartbeat with their monitors. They got a heartbeat that was about 94 (mind you Bree’s normal heart rate was in the 150’s) and I was repeatedly asking them if that was her heartbeat or if it was mine. They took my pulse and discovered that my pulse was about 54, so the heartbeat we were hearing was hers.

In the midst of all this, Adam was sitting with Riley who was crying and wanting me, the nurses were asking me questions, and I was bleeding and passing clots while they were stripping my clothes off, and putting on all the monitors. They were also trying to get an IV into me because of how much fluid I was losing, which was not working due to my low blood pressure. I was signing forms for an emergency c-section, and at the same time they informed Adam that Riley could not be in the triage area and they encouraged him to find someone to watch Riley for us. He stepped out with Riley while they continued to work on me.

It only took twelve minutes in the triage area before they wheeled me back into the OR. The anesthesiologist that was there introduced himself, and proceeded to get a second IV into me. I already had one in my right arm, and he put one into my left. He told the nurse to call and get them to bring up some blood for me because I was going to need a transfusion. I started to get scared. I realized that since I was already in the OR and Adam was out in the hallway with Riley that I was not going to see him before the surgery. I asked the nurse to go and tell him that I loved him. She was very nice and did so for me.

They brought in an ultrasound machine and tech to see what was happening with Bree. He started scanning, and about the same time Dr. Folkestad showed up. He came and said hi to me and explained that we were in a scary situation here. They were going to look with the ultrasound to see what was happening, and if I did indeed need an emergency c-section he was going to make a quick call to a neonatologist before he got started so that they would be there when the baby was born. He quickly checked my cervix to see if my body was going into labor or just reacting to the abruption and he discovered that I was already 3 centimeters dilated and 85% effaced. On the ultrasound they were able to see the placenta abrupting, so Dr. Folkestad left to go make the necessary phone calls. My contractions were not stopping by now, which were very painful, but the same nurse that had gone out and talked to Adam for me was allowing me to squeeze her hand. 

They put in a catheter, washed up my belly with iodine (which doesn’t feel very good…very scratchy, like rough sandpaper), and put all the sheets up for the c-section. They changed from the oxygen mask I had on, to a different one for the anesthesia. For some reason, maybe to line up my windpipe, they had to put pressure on my throat while I was breathing into the new mask. It felt like they were choking me and cutting off my breathing, but they kept encouraging me to take deep breaths…so I tried my best.

That is the last thing that I remember. 

When I came to, a nurse was with me in a new room. I am quite hazy on all the details, but I remember looking over and seeing that I was receiving blood. Adam came in soon after I awoke and told me Bree was okay. I am told that the first thing I told Adam was that I didn’t need a new ring. He was confused and asked me what I meant…. I insisted that he didn’t have to buy me a new ring because of the birthstone. Finally he got what I was saying…I have a ring that he gave me when Riley was born with her birthstone in it. Now, both of our girls are in the month of September so I didn’t need a new ring. I am not sure why that was so important for me to tell him that at that time, but then again anesthesia does odd things to a person.

The neonatologist then came in and updated me on Bree. She was being life flighted to Phoenix Children’s Hospital, but they had been able to stabilize her before she left. He explained a few details to me, then wished me a speedy recovery and promised to stop by in the next few days to talk more with me when I was more awake. Joel and Kristina came in and asked how I was feeling and we talked for a while. Once again, the silly things I say on anesthesia came into play. Because it was an emergency c-section, and due to the situation, they had to cut my uterus vertically. I joked with Joel and Kristina that I now had a cross inside me….

Overall, it was a time in my life, (and Adam’s) which I am sure either of us will be soon to forget. Scary as it was, it was necessary and I am glad that our little girl is alive, and is such a little fighter. She is our littlest blessing, and one of our greatest. We love both of our girls so dearly and we look forward to watching them grow and learn together over the coming years.

Sneaking up

Isn't it funny how there are times when life just sneaks up on you? The days and weeks pass without realization, until one day you look at your child and realize "Where did the time go?". As a family, we have been having many of those times as of lately. Tonight is no exception.

11 days. That's how many days it will be until Bree is one. Now, in adjusted age sense she won't be one, but in days of life she will be. It is crazy to think of all we have been through with her in this past (almost) year...for those readers who are new, or just plain forgot, here's a partial rundown of the past year:

September 10, 2008 - Our little Bree Marie Gonce was born due to placental abruption at 10:00 pm weighing in at 1 pound, 5 ounces (that was after giving her fluids to stabilize her) and an impressive 13 inches long. She is in very critical condition and placed on a ventilator, among other things.

October 2008 - Bree has PDA surgery and two days post op she crashes and does not have a heartbeat for 28 minutes. CPR is performed and just as the doctor stepped up to her bedside to call the time of death, her heart started again. The next two days are very rough and shaky, and we were encouraged to start having conversations as her parents as to when to say "enough is enough" and to withdraw support from her.

Obviously, she started doing better (or we wouldn't be having this conversation today!) and we slowly began to trust that she would be coming home with us in a few months.

In October, our friend Carrie Fay came and took photos for us of our precious little one so that we could document her as this tiny miracle.

 

  

  

  

 

 

More of Bree's first year of life to come in later posts...stay tuned!

P.S. If you are in the Arizona area (or feel the need to fly a photographer to your special event) Carrie Fay is a friendly, FANTASTIC photographer who would love to photograph you and your family! Also, all proceeds donated go to fund the adoption of their next child(ren) from Ethiopia. Here's her photography website: http://www.amarobabyphoto.blogspot.com/...check out her work, you might see some familiar faces!