Priorities

Priorities in life are a funny thing sometimes. Usually, the priorities you need to address are not the ones you really want to. Like picking up the living room, or mopping the floor, or finishing college that seems to be dragging on forever. Wait, those are all MY priorities.

I am so over school. I know I must finish in order to not waste the money that we have spent on my education so far. We have over $20,000 out on school loans. However, since I started school our plans and priorities have changed. We were planning on me starting to teach part time right after I finished my degree. At least enough that I could pay for my student loans. Now with Bree we do not feel that that is an option. She still needs special care with her G tube and neither of us feel comfortable leaving her with a babysitter or a daycare. We do not want to impose on our friends as we feel that we have hurt some friendships by asking them to watch Riley too much due to Bree's needs. We don't know what we are going to do when my student loans become due. My friend Anneke has gotten a forebearance (spelling?) on her student loans and will try to help me get the same.

So, for now...I finish school because I must. Because it is a priority. Because wasting money is a sin (it is, isn't it?). Priorities suck sometimes.

Hold your babies tight tonight

The horrible earthquake in Haiti seems to have put things into perspective for some people. Myself included. Not that I don't appreciate my family, but Riley is quick to irritate me, Bree seems to always be underfoot, and Adam is always leaving a trail of shirts he has already worn strewn about on the ground or the couch.

At least my children and husband are still alive to irritate me, be underfoot, or leaving dirty clothes in inconvenient piles and not dead in the street or crushed under a collapsed building. My heart breaks for the orphaned children, the now childless mothers, or the fathers who cannot find their families. I cannot imagine the grief, panic and anxiety they are going through. The thought of it bring tears to my eyes.

So tonight, I held Bree longer at bedtime. I kissed her little face, and squeezed her tight. When it was Riley's bedtime, she got to rock longer, read the same book three times, and I have indulged her with "Rock-a-bye baby" about thirty times.However, I still do not feel that is enough. So, I will appreciate more.

I will appreciate that my husband does the dishes, AND dumps the garbage and recycling.

I will appreciate Riley and her wonderful sense of humor.

I will appreciate that Bree can crawl, and is striving to learn more.

I will appreciate that I am alive.

I will appreciate that I CAN appreciate.

Straight from the mouths of babes

Now we all know that Riley is a talker...she tends to get that from me. As much as Riley is a talker, Bree is the opposite. It is going to be so interesting seeing these two grow up through the years. Even though Bree is less of a talker than Riley was at her age, she does still utter and use a few words correctly. The words that she uses are:

Up

Mama

Dada

All done (sounds like Ah-du, complete with shaking of hands)

Her speech therapist reassures me that this is completely acceptable for a one year old. I have nothing to compare it to except super speech Riley. For example, Riley and Grandma were playing with some stuffed animals two days ago. Riley had a monkey she was making say Oooo ah ah!, and Grandma had a frog that she was making to say Oooo ah ah!. Riley DID NOT like that and kept correcting Grandma, "It say Ribbi Ribbi!!!!". Well, after a few rounds of that, Riley clapped her hand on her forehead and said "I don't KNOW what to do with you!!!" Grandma and I just busted up laughing...it was so appropriate and cute!

Another story...last night the girls and I went to a friends house (Carrie Fay and Fernando's). On the way there, Riley was watching the previews to whatever movie was in the DVD player. About 30 seconds from their house, Riley proclaims "I watching a woowie (movie)....I need a cokcorn (popcorn)!". Now, I think we have only watched a movie and ate popcorn about twice in her lifetime. She is one smart cookie....or should I say, one smart kernel!

Disney on Ice here we come!

Grandma Gonce is treating me and Riley to the Disney on Ice show that will be in town this week. We are not going until Saturday, but I am excited! It is late tonight, I do not normally post this late. Today was the last day of my science class so I had to finish up some schoolwork, and pick up the trashed house. (It really wasn't trashed...just toy strewn) And since I have school to observe in the morning, I am going to make this short and sweet.

Good night all.
Sweet dreams.
I know I will sleep well...I am going to go take some sleep medicine because I have not slept well for two nights. I hope tonight is much better. I hope I sleep so well that I have no dreams. Know what I mean?