So, I have been mulling over in my mind for the past three months on how Bree's homecoming will be. Of course, I would love for it be all smiles, hugs and kisses. Bree will come home and fit perfectly into our routine, and Riley will accept her with open arms and want to help all the time. As most of you who know me know, I think of every possible situation and I WAY overthink everything!!! This is true for her homecoming...the dilemma is this:
Riley is very much at the stage where I am the only one who can do things for her. This includes: snuggling and giving love (no one else will do, not even Daddy), play with her, read to her, and a few other things. Hence, the problem. When Bree comes home my time is going to be stretched even thinner than it is. It is going to hurt Riley's feelings that I cannot do everything with her anymore. This will result in fits and crying (I am sure of it!). Here's what breaks my heart: In order to take care of Bree properly, I am going to have to hurt Riley's feelings and cause her to feel neglected by me. Even thinking about this and writing about it brings tears to my eyes.
I am sure that every 'second time new mommy' deals with this problem, but it is exacerbated by the oxygen and apnea monitors she is coming home on. My heart aches and yearns for the day when Bree will be home and our family will finally be together all under one roof, but it also dreads the day I am going to have to look into Riley's sweet little eyes and tell her "No, Mommy can't give you love right now because I am doing something with Bree." She is not able to understand that and to see her little eyes tear up, and for her to cry is going to break my heart into a million pieces.
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2 comments:
I had similar doubts about Ivy's birth & inevitable homecoming, with Aidan being only a week past his 1st birthday. I am sure that you will be pleasantly surprised at how fast you all adjust to a new little person in your life. And you'll figure out how to snuggle them both at the same time pretty quickly! And just think, before you know it, Riley won't remember there was ever a time when Bree wasn't there. I'd swear Aidan never knew life before Ivy. :) *lots of love & hugs & patience coming your way!*
Your work doubles and so does your love. I will be in prayer for you, as only another mommy of two children can pray, during this time. Have you thought about investing in a baby "wearing" item? A sling or wrap? I have one I can mail to you if you wanna try it out! I dunno how it would work with the monitors and tubes, but I found it to really help out...that way you can "multi-task" between both girls more efficently!
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